When me and Señor Smells began discussing which team to “dibs” for the first instalment of 32 in 32 I had the choice between my TEEEEEEEEEBBBBBOOOWWW Jets and the player formerly known as OchoCinco and his Dolphins. I went with the choice of the Dolphins (Sorry Tim, your everything I love in sports), but the Dolphins just seemed too perfect, we’re talking about a team that is known for having one of the greatest QBs of all time in Dan Marino, yet they were still unable to win a Super Bowl, as well as a team whose known for having a group of old men cheer for the undoings of others. Now enough about old athletes talking about the “glory” days, let’s get to the team with no glory in sight. The Miami Dolphins.
2011 Record: 6-11
Result: Did Not Qualify For Postseason
QB: Matt Moore, 210/347 (60.5%), 2,487 YDS, 16 TDS, 9 INT
Best Offensive Target: Brandon Marshall, 81 REC, 1,214 YDS, 6 TD
Best Defensive Target: Yeremiah Bell, 106 TKLS, 2.0 SCK
Important Offseason Acquisitions: Ryan Tannehill QB, David Garrard QB, Chad Johnson (Formerly Chad OchoCinco, Formerly Chad Johnson), Marcus Thigpen RB of CFL fame, Jerome Messam RB ALSO FROM THE CFL.
Important Offseason Losses: Brandon Marshell WR, Chad Henne QB,
Head Coach: Tony Sporano (Fired after week 13), Todd Bowles (Interim)
At first when the Dolphins got the prestigious granting of ‘Hard Knocks’ by the almighty HBO, one could only groan. That all changed with the acquisition of Chad johnson AKA Chad OchoCinco AKA Chad Johnson. The Dolphins now have one of the best WRs in the last 10 years. Too bad we haven’t seen his skill in about 3 years, right around the time he put on the fake HOF jacket. DONT TEMPT THE GODS CHAD! Now for Mr Johnson to prove himself once again he will need a QB, and currently Dolphins have one of the worst QB controversies in recent memory. Its reminiscent of the mid 2000 Bills. They have Matt Moore, who played particularly well for the Dolphins after Chad Henne went down against the Chargers, David Garrard, who is of Jacksonville Jaguar fame, he’s the guy who replaced Bryan Leftwitch a few years back and then got released a week before the season started last year (Jacksonville is all class, one reason why they’ll be soon the LA Jaguars), and of course there is then the “saviour” of Miami, Ryan Tannehill. Tannehill was by far not the best player sitting at the #8 spot in this years draft, but after the ‘Fins lost out on the “Peyton Manning Automatic Super Bowl Contender Extravaganza. TM pending” they had to go with a QB or so they believed at least. Fun fact: Tannehill was a Bio major. Anyway, this leaves the Dolphins with quite the predicament.
The rest of the offense should relatively stay the same, they did lose Brandon Marshall to the Bears, but if Johnson can be the Johnson of old and learn to read a playbook, he could make up for that. They still have the former Heismen winner, I mean former Heismen winner who is no longer credited as a Heismen winner in Reggie Bush, who although has never greatly produced as a rusher, is still a great receiving threat. There O line still has Jake Long who will be looking for another Pro Bowl appearance, and could get it pending which QB is starting which week (Yes i expect to see them all). They’ve hired a new coach in Joe Philben which according to Wikipedia, has never been a head coach before, however he had been with the Packers organization since ’03, and has been the Offensive Coordinator since ’07, and we all know that organization screams greatness!!!!!!! You get the point.
Dolphins’ fans have nothing to look forward to, in reality Chad Johnson will most likely score 2-4 TDS (for my sake I hope more), They have 1 Qb who lost his job to Blaine Gabbert aka Yo Gabba Gabbert (S/O Jay Onrait), a QB who has started less then 30 games but I will give him credit for his 16/9 TD to INT ratio, and last but not least The Bio Major Mr Tannehill, who in reality shouldn’t see action till week 6-12, when Moore is 2-5 and Garrard goes down with a torn ACL reliving his days when he could somewhat run the ball. There defense I believe will be mediocre like last year (hence their lack of mention. Sorry to whomever is playing D). Here are my predictions
2012 Prediction: 4-12
Result: 4th in AFC East
QB: Matt Moore, David Garrard and Matt Tannehill, 4,267 YDS, 29 TDs, 34 INTS
Best Offensive Target: Reggie Bush, 1,265 RUSHYDS, 11 Rush TDS, 325 REC YDS
Best Defensive Player: Cameron Wake, 49 TACKLES, 10.0 SCKS, 1 FR
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