`Euro Cup 2012

I typically don’t like to brag about my knowledge of different sports, but when it comes to soccer, I just can’t help it. I actually watched half of the World Cup game 2 years back (no joke). So when I tell you my predictions, they’re almost a guarantee, if you were going to to bet your life savings on anything, you should bet it on what I say, in fact, I encourage you to bet your life savings on what I say. I’m going to start with some somewhat bold prediction.

Somewhat Bold Predictions
1. I’m 53% sure that a European team will win it all
2. over 80% of the games will have less than 2 total goals scored
3. I will watch practically none of the games
4. a total of 4 players will die in different games against Russia
5. None of my predictions will come true

Division Predictions

Group A
1. Russia 3-0
2. Greece 2-1
3.Poland 1-2
4. Czech Republic 0-3

It’s pretty obvious Russia will win all of their games, with their constant murder and assault tactics, teams will be so intimidated by them, they’ll practically roll over. I also picked Greece to make it because my favorite part of the pizza is the grease

Group B
1. Germany 3-0
2. Netherlands 2-1
3. Portugal 1-2
4. Denmark 0-3

I heard some guy on the bus saying Germany and Spain are the favorites with the Netherlands a close 3rd, so that’s all the info I need to make an informed decision.

Group C
1. Spain 3-0
2. Italy 1-2
3. Croatia 1-2
4. Ireland 1-2

again guy on the bus influenced me on Spain, and as long as Italy continually practices their diving technique, they’ll always be a powerhouse. Also I know McFulttz is an Ireland fan, and I’m not much of a McFultz fan, so I picked them to come in last.

Group D
1. Ukraine 2-1
2. England 2-1
3. France 2-1
4. Sweden 0-3

Ukraine’s normally pretty decent, right? Maybe not, who knows? Anyway I picked England, because I hated my French teacher as a child, and as much as I love Swedish meatballs, Sweden’s good at hockey, like us Canadians, and we’re atrocious at soccer, so they must be as well.

 

McFultz here and it’s come to my attention that Euro 2012 is upon us. It’s always nice to see the big european countries excluding all the small African and South American nations from the only sport they have a chance at winning. I mean let’s be honest were all sick of seeing third world countries being filled with hope and aspirations.Now I won’t be having any bold predictions like Mr. Smells seeing as he covered pretty much everything but I would like to call over 22 Italian flops and one head but.

Devision Predictions

Group A

1.Russia 3-0

2.Poland 1-1-1

3.Greece 0-2-1

4.Czech Republic 0-3

Now I think Smells covered the Eastern Front, I figure Poland is the hosting nation and they should be able to handle a lousy Czech team and with Greece dealing with a financial deficit to due a Nation of lazy people I figure “hey, that must mean something for their soccer team”.

Group B
1. Germany 3-0
2. Netherlands 2-1
3. Portugal 1-1-1
4. Denmark 0-2-1

THERE IS NO WAY I WILL ALLOW PORTUGAL TO ADVANCE! I will not stand seeing Ronaldo in the quarter finals. Now for Germany, they’ve been one of the best soccer teams this decade and it’s about time they do something and I mean, when was the last time the Germans lost anything in Poland?

Group C
1. Spain 3-0
2. Ireland 1-1-1
3. Italy 1-1-1
4. Croatia

Spain is a given, there one of the top teams in the world. Now Ireland will beat out Italy due to their amount of goals and if you’ve seen “The Departed”, you know how it ends when the Irish face off against Italians.

Group D
1. France  3-0
2. England 1-1-1
3. Ukraine 0-1-2
4. Sweden 0-2-1

It pains me to see France go into the knockout stages, especially after they blatantly cheated to beat the Irish and advance to the World Cup but their in an easy division. Now England should beat everybody in their division except for France but let’s not kid ourselves were talking about England, the Ukrainian goalie will probably kick it and all of England’s team will simultaneously tear their ACLs and the ball will role in the net.

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